Remote or hybrid work? You still need a work best friend

It’s time to connect outside the Zoom room with your colleagues. No, really. Slack is great and all, but the best friendship doesn’t make.

“On a professional level, work friends can be trusted people we can turn to for professional advice and feedback, whether it’s how to tackle a specific challenge we have or support us in our professional development,” Shira said. Schuster, Ph. D., a licensed clinical psychologist with the Williamsburg Therapy Group in Brooklyn.

“Work friends are essential because they can be real-time sounding boards,” echoed Prerika Agarwal, MBA, a certified career coach and founder of Inspiration Careers in Washington, DC. They give practical advice, not just theoretical, because they have been to the same meetings and know the same people.”

As Schuster pointed out, our work friends can also be connected to others in the industry and thus help with networking. And on a personal level, work friends can provide social and emotional support, making work more enjoyable.

Conversely, Schuster said working from home can contribute to feelings of loneliness, so having that proverbial “work wife” can help employees feel more connected and “locked in” in the workplace.
Ahead, easy strategies to lock down a work BFF, no matter where you work.

Join the club
“Participate in your company’s online social groups or interest clubs,” Agarwal said. “Whether it’s a book club or some other interest, being active in these groups helps you meet colleagues with similar interests. Engage in conversations, contribute to discussions and show genuine interest in what others are sharing.”
Whether in the flesh or via video chat, these community builders are important in creating meaningful connections.

Help however you can
It may seem obvious, but lending a helping hand to colleagues is an often-overlooked friendship fast track. Agarwal stressed the importance of offering to help co-workers whenever you can, whether it’s project assistance, sharing useful resources or lending a listening ear. That can create a strong foundation for friendship, she said, plus people appreciate those who are helpful, so they’re more likely to reciprocate.

These concepts apply even if you have a virtual workplace. In her career, Agarwal worked with her now friend Charlie for more than three years without ever meeting in person.

“We shared best practices, networking tips and supported each other through work challenges,” she recalled. “It made my day so much better to have someone who understood the company culture and the people we worked with. Charlie was both a mentor and a friend, which made a huge difference.”

Set a virtual coffee date. . .
Agarwal is a proponent of virtual coffee chat with colleagues. A mainstay during the pandemic, they have now fallen by the wayside, but can actually be useful in building careers and friendships.

“Just send a casual message to someone you want to get to know better and suggest a quick video call. Talk about work, but also share personal interests to build rapport,” Agarwal said. “Doing this regularly helps build a bond. true.”

For a thoughtful gesture, you can send someone a Starbucks or Instacart gift card the same way you might treat a coworker to a steakhouse.

For those who are completely remote, Schuster is also a fan of virtual lunch breaks, so you can video chat while taking a break from work.

. . . Or a personal meeting for coffee
If you’re working in an office or on a hybrid schedule, Schuster said you can suggest to a coworker that you go to lunch or coffee together once or twice a month when you’re both in the office.

“If you’re not sure what to talk about, the conversation can always focus on work first and likely move to more personal topics (family, hobbies) as you continue to talk,” suggested Schuster.

Be kind, always
Make an effort to know people’s names and try to be friendly and open in your demeanor, Schuster said.

“Ask questions that show a genuine interest and ask follow-up questions,” like what they plan to do on the weekend, then ask how it went the next time you see them. Schuster also recommends sharing things about yourself that others can respond to.

Say, “I’m going to have a coffee at [name a place]. I can’t live without coffee! What about you? Are you a coffee person?’ “Coworkers usually respond positively to others if they show genuine interest and care,” Schuster said.

Plan a fun event
“If you work as part of a team, you can organize or attend team building/social events (either in person or remotely) where you can get to know your colleagues a little more,” Schuster said. “If there’s someone you’re interested in becoming friends with, you can learn a little more about them at these types of events and then start a related conversation.”

For example, if some of your colleagues are passionate about tennis, plan a round robin tournament. If you find that other co-workers love cooking, hire a chef to teach a virtual or in-person class. If you’re not a chairperson who can book these types of meetings on a company charter, contact your human resources department to see if your company has a budget set aside for these types of team bonding issues.

Whichever method you use, don’t be shy about asking for friendship with your colleagues.
“Building friendships at work, especially over distance, takes effort, but it’s definitely worth it,” Agarwal said. “Having someone who truly understands your work environment can make a huge difference in both professional success and personal happiness.”